What the bonk is that?

Today I rode 28.2 miles burning about 1900 calories. It took about two hours and twenty minutes. I'm not trying to brag. Obviously. I'm sure there are probably millions of cyclists out there that would completely crush my time. I'm only mentioning it because before my ride I only had three cups of coffee with cream, no sugar. During the ride all I drank was water. No energy bars or gels or anything like that and I haven't eaten anything since I got back from my ride, just some more coffee with cream, no sugar.

I keep reading about this thing called bonking, or rather hitting the wall where you burn up all the glycogen in your liver and you're just supposed to drop dead. The Wikipedia article I read about bonking stated that this would happen to someone who rode for more than fifteen miles and could happen in less than two hours. I wasn't pushing myself an incredible amount, but I went over both the time and the mileage and besides being a little tired I'm completely fine.

I believe that hitting the wall is possible, but only if you're a skeleton. If you have any fat on you whatsoever then your body is going to use it to create energy. It's not just there to kill your self esteem, it's there to power your fat ass through hell when the shit hits the fan. I think cycling magazines would have us believe that if you don't pump yourself full of energy bars and power gels that we're just going the keel over and die unable to support the twenty pounds of excess fat that hangs from our bodies for absolutely no purpose. Stupid fat.

I'm not trying to convince anyone to start a new diet or anything. I'm not advocating that you shouldn't eat carbohydrates. I'm only saying that you don't need to eat three boxes of pasta in order to ride over longer distances.

If you're like most other cyclists that I meet and like myself, you've got some fat on you. I'm not saying your a couch potato. All I'm saying is that you have energy to burn.

I think what people want to believe is that there is something out there that will make cycling easy, well easier, because it's really damn easy compared to running. People want to believe that with the super energy gel max they are going to be a machine practically coasting up the steepest grades and out running cars. It's not going to happen. Cycling uses muscle power that's why it's awesome, but it's going to suck sometimes. You're going to get tired and stuffing shit in your mouth isn't going to make it any easier. If you want to buy something that gets you from point A to point B without using any of your own energy, while a consistent cool breeze kisses your face like fairy elves than get in your car and pay the gas bill.

There is one thing that will make cycling easier, cycling. Go mash some pedals.