Cars are for the weak

Automobiles are two ton recliners. People climb into their money-pit bubbles and off they go into the sunset. I don't think I've ever seen a car commercial that was ever actually selling anyone a car. Car companies are always selling a lifestyle image. Attractive people flitting about exotic locals, or a father doing all the fun sorts of things that his pick up truck will allow him to do. They are the keys to freedom and wonderfulness and rainbow farts. This is the image at least.

I honestly never see anyone like this. There are obviously car people that love nothing more than rebuilding an engine in their backyard, but they are few and far between. All the people that I run into just complain. They complain about gas prices, mechanics, drivers and how far they have to drive. I meet people all the time that also seem to believe that they must be making a car payment all of the time. As soon as they pay off one car, they buy another and on and on until the end of time.

I think that the biggest ruse that was ever perpetrated was the idea that cars = manliness. This, in my opinion, couldn't be further from the truth. Cars equal weakness. What is so manly about a car? Shopping for the best accessories and style, picking out the right color, so it matches your clothes and then showing it off to other people? That's called shopping, usually reserved for women. Men chop down trees with hatchets, they climb mountains, they build houses with hand tools. When's the last time anyone was impressed with someone driving across the state? Never. It's never happened. Walking across the state or riding a bicycle across the state is something else altogether. It takes strength and courage. The most dangerous thing you'll do driving across the state is stopping for gas in a not so good part of town, which will most likely be completely safe if you didn't keep eyeballing people.

The only thing cars do is make people crazy. They'd rather sink a third of their income into a pseudo-status symbol that grows their ass and shrinks their bank account than walk a mile.

Bikes are strong and they make you stronger. Your legs will become slabs of steel that can crush a man's head, you'll have the confidence to stand your ground against hordes of maniacs in cages and you'll love yourself for it.

Go mash some pedals.